Competition

Now I have some competition. I’ll have to up my game a little, I think. I made a suggestion, a while back, to a friend that he ought to put his money where his mouth is and write his own blog. Well, he has gone and done it. If you would care to have a look at what he writing pop over to www.fiveminutewander.blogspot.com
He is sure to have an interesting take on many things as he is a little older than me and, therefore, has more life experience than I have. Go on, have a look.

In the meantime, i am sat in my conservatory, on a Sunday morning, listening to the rain pattering on the roof, having had a very pleasant full English, dreaming about heat and sunshine.
It is June and it is cold and wet. In some weeks time myself and Mrs Giant68 will be off to sunny Spain again, and i can’t wait. I know we have had some decent weather and we need the rain but I really want heat and unbroken sunshine, Spanish beaches and Sangria…
I’m looking forward to renewing friendships with people I haven’t seen for a year, Jose the surly barman, Harry and Ann, Amy, Sian, Jeremy, alcohol and bbqs. Sleeping outside because it is too warm inside, alcohol, tapas, alcohol, you get the idea.
Before that, however, I have to make a start on the bathroom and kitchen. Mrs Giant68 has decided that we need them renewing. I don’t see what is wrong with the avocado bathroom suite. But she who must be obeyed has decreed that it will be done.  So if I fail to regularly post a new blog just assume that I am up to my elbows in a new toilet.
Regards
Giant68 )

Camp or what?

Did that camp thing again last month. You know, the thing with the ropes and the canvas. Oh, I see. You were thinking of the other camp thing… What do you think I am, some kind of pervert? That was a rhetorical question.

No, once again we packed the entire contents of my house into the car, good job the new car is bigger than the old one, and drove to a field just outside Salisbury. Emptied it all out onto the grass, drank lots of red wine (other types of alcohol are available) and then loaded the cars back up and went home. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Bet you wish you had been there.

There was one subtle difference this year, though, or two. One. The weather, while good during the day, was bloody freezing at night. We were sat around the table with every article of clothing on that we could find. The alcohol did give a little warm glow but that was quickly stolen by the freezing air temperature.

The other difference was that we had our granddaughter with us. Thoughtfully, though, the little one had brought her parents with her. Now I love my grandchild to bits, but she can  be a little cow at times. She knows that she shouldn’t do some things but she does them anyway. Then gives you a look that dares you to tell her off. But as Guns ’n’ Roses once said “She’s got eyes of the bluest skies…”  And besides that, I am her granddad. I am here just to lead her into trouble. But it doesn’t lead to a very relaxing camping experience.

We’re going again at the end of this month. Just me and Mrs Giant68 and maybe a couple of friends.

Cheers

Giant68 x

Far East, Leather…

I saw the last of an old friend this week. I have known her for nearly 8 years and in that time she has taken me to allsorts of places. We have been in obscure places after dark, obscure places in daylight. We have seen each other nearly every day over the eight years that we had  a relationship. And now that she is gone I, sort of, miss her.
My friends shared her, sometimes. We did it all together. We had some fun. Lots of fun.

I am talking about my car. I bought her brand, spanking new in August 2003. Now, for all the petrolhheads out there, you will not be too impressed. She was a Kia Rio. She was black, leather lined, automatic gearbox. And to me she was the best car I had ever had. I had never bought new, all my previous cars were at least 10 years old. Some of them were heaps of junk, most of them were ok. But this was brand new. When I drove her off the forecourt people looked and you could see them say “Look, a new car”
In my early days I never owned a car long enough to put it through an MOT. Probably a good thing really, thinking about the state of some of them. I remember the MK1 Escort that I cut the bumpers and installed spotlights so that it looked like the Escort Mexico. I had a 2.8 Ford Granada, she was one of my favourites. She was fast, and comfortable and saw some action (If you know what I mean)
I had a Renault 5 that you had to stall to stop the engine due to the head gasket being blown and when the key was turned off the engine would splutter on and on. And it had no radio. I traded that in for a Ford Cortina that did have a radio. Gotta have music while I drive!
But the last one lasted a long time. She had been all over the country with me and Mrs Giant68, and the two mini giants. Dusty, our dog, had drooled all over the boot on the way to the park or the beach. And now she has gone to a dealer to be refurbished and sold to someone else. I hope that whoever it is they look after her. I wonder if they will ever think of her history, of where she has been and what she has done?

I, now, begin a new relationship with a new car. She has a few miles on the clock, been around the block a few times, but times are harder than they were and a brand new one was a little too dear for me this time. But we will have fun, and travel, hopefully, to places that she, and I, have never been. I wonder what she has done and where she has been over the last 5 years? 

Let’s take the kids!

Following on from the last blog I would like to ask a question of parents everywhere. What makes you think that you should take your young children somewhere where they will be bored to tears? Literally.

 

We walked round various parts of Dorset and some of these places were calm, peaceful, and places where I could relax and be at one with nature. But there were some places where parents had thought: “Darling? Lets take little Johnny ( or whatever implausible name they had decided upon 4 years ago after a sniff of the Chardonnay) and go to the Museum of Boring Life. He will love it”

Kids want two things. They want to be fed sweets and they want to be entertained. If they can’t get at least one of these then they are going to be trouble.

We sat in a Tea Shoppe ( yes, I know that Shoppe is terribly twee but tough, it fits!) and we tried to have a quiet cream tea, well Mrs Giant68 was, anyway, i was trying not to think about the pint that I could have had in the pub over the road. Anyway, there were a couple of families in the Tea Shoppe garden waiting for their pots of tea and the scones. They had their children with them. They were neither entertained or being fed sweets. They were a pain in the posterior!

For God’s sake! take them to McDonalds and feed them E numbers in a bun and wash it all down with a paper cup the same size as them full of liquid sugar. Let them play in the ball pit or just smear their ketchup covered hands on the tables and chairs. They will be happy, they will laugh. But take them to a stately home to see the artwork or the Capability Brown inspired gardens and they will be bored out of their tiny minds. Why do you do it? Surely you can’t be doing it for the kids? You must realise that they don’t want to go? Or are you trying my patience? Waiting to see how long it will be before I snap and beat you to death with their pushchair?

At least once they reach puberty they will just sulk. At least they will be quiet. But any child below the age of consent really should be left at home if you are not going to take them to the beach, swimming pool, cinema, etc.

Yes, I am a parent. And a grandparent.

Regards

Giant68 x

Two Go Mad in Dorset…

Mrs Giant68 and myself have been away for a few days. This is the first time that we have gone away from the stresses and strains of everyday life since we went to Spain last August and we needed to get away. We didn’t go too far, only to Swanage in Dorset which is only about 40 miles from home as the crow flies.Incidentally, who decided that it should be measured as the crow flies? And why should that mean a straight line? have you ever watched a crow fly? Like any other bird that I have seen they don’t necessarily fly in a straight line, they are easily distracted by shiny things and go off at a tangent a bit like a woman shopping.

No camping this time, though, as it is a bit early in the year and a bit too chilly at night. We stayed in a B & B, and rather nice it was too. ( If you want to try it it is Firswood, just round the corner from the train station.) Nice clean room and a decent brekkie, what more could we want?

We got there after lunch and herself decided that we could go for a walk. After what felt like 100 miles, all uphill, we had reached a point on the Purbeck coast that, I’m sure, only the dinosaurs had seen. For some unknown reason someone had planted a large stone globe on the edge of the cliff. All countries of the Earth marked upon its surface and stone slabs in the cliff around it. The stone slabs were marked with various poetical and scientific writings and while it was  very random thing to see it was was thought provoking.

Pint and a curry later in the evening and we went to bed knackered. Didn’t last long though, at home we have a king-size bed. My nickname should explain why. I am a little on the large side and a normal double bed is a little small. I found that Mrs Giant68 kept pushing me out, I guess she is more used to a large bed than I am!

So bleary eyed we both appeared for breakfast in the morning. Like a fool i agreed to a walk from Swanage to Corfe. Now i didn’t think that England was that big. I am sure that the walk from Swanage to Corfe was, at least, 300 miles and all uphill. We found the entry to the path under an arch of human bones and a sign that said “Abandon Hope All Ye That Enter Here”

We reached a point that was so high I could reach out and touch the Moon! Bodies of previous walkers lined the path, obviously not as hardy as us. There was a point where I thought that I would have to gnaw my own arm off as i was so hungry. And then Corfe Castle appeared out of the mist and we were saved!  A pint at the local hostelry? No. Herself wanted a bloody cream tea! So we sat in a Tea Shop and i had a coffee, all the while dreaming of gnawing her arm off!!

Fortunately we caught the steam train home. Corfe exists in a time warp.  It is forever 1932 and Will Hay runs the railway with the help of Richard Wattis (Look the pair of them up on Wikipedia, or if you are old enough you will know who I mean.) There is always ginger beer and sandwiches and the sun always shines, except when I was there!

We are home now and I am recovering with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.

Regards

Giant68 x

How Much???

I went to an antiques fair at the weekend. On a coach. I felt very young. Myself, Mrs Giant68, and our friends Nicky and Neil were the youngest on the coach. When the coach hit a bump you could hear the colostomy bags sloshing around! And as for the clacking of the false teeth...
Mrs Giant68 likes a wander around the antiques stalls and shops every now and then. She says it’s because she lives with an antique. Bloody cheek!
So, anyway, we set off on the coach to Shepton Mallet and the Royal Bath and West of England Showground for a good wander around the relics. Sitting on a coach is quite relaxing, letting someone else drive while you are rocked to sleep after a heavy night. The previous evening we had been to a friends house where we had some good food and copious quantities of red wine, not very conducive to an early start!
I am amazed at the prices that some of these so called antiques sell for. To be honest with you, a lot of it I would call tat and wouldn’t give you tuppence for it. Yes, there was some really nice stuff there and the prices reflected that. I was a little disappointed as I like books, and I found very little in the way of the printed word there. But I am also a Freemason and I always keep my eyes open for anything with the Masonic mark on. I cannot believe the way that the price is inflated when there is a square and compass etched on the surface!

But I enjoyed myself anyway.We were with a couple of friends. We sat in the sun and drank coffee and ate sandwiches in the sunshine. Our friends bought a blanket box and a drop-leaf table which were duly loaded into the luggage lockers on the coach. At some point on the way home I think I must have dropped asleep and dreamed that I was in a poor Carry On film, as Mrs Giant68 and Nicky giggled about getting Nicky’s chest out. And then when I was sat in the back of Nicky’s car and holding the table still while it was on the top of the blanket box being giggled at for holding holding Nicky’s legs down on her chest. Children! How immature. I got cramp in my hand while I was doing it...
Regards
Giant68 x

Old age cometh!

That is what Mrs Giant68 has discovered recently. No she hasn’t just found some grey hairs, she already had those ( bugger! I hope she doesn’t read this or I’m in the brown stuff!).

No, she has had to obtain her first pair of prescription spectacles. She is now a speccy four-eyes! And has found that what I said some months ago in that glasses are made from the most expensive material known to man is true. She only needs reading glasses, unlike muggins here, who now wears varifocals, but they still cost here over a hundred quid.

I have also discovered that now I have an Amazon Kindle I may not need to wear the varifocals so much for reading as I can increase the font size of the book I am reading to the point where i can read it from over the road! Unfortunately, although Mrs Giant68 bought me the Kindle for my birthday, she has pinched it supposedly “to see if it is worth me having one” she said. Every time I think I’ll sit down and read a book on the damn thing she has it.

It’s a good job i have a few ordinary books around the house so that I can still read something. That’s something that annoys herself, the approx 5000 books I have kicking around the house. I did say that I would not buy anymore books if she bought me a Kindle but now she has appropriated it I may have to continue. Waterstones here I come!

 

Regards

Giant68  :0)