There is a new TV series just started on FX channel. “Walking Dead”. It’s a standard story of a plague turning almost everyone into the walking dead. Now programs and films of this nature have been around for 30 odd years, ever since Romero decided to start making zombie films. They all follow the same format, as I have already said, and this is what I can’t understand. The hero is always damn lucky to survive the first five minutes. Surely people watch TV and go to the cinema, even read books? They should understand that when the zombies come after you you need to have your wits about you. Oh! and some weapons.
In this latest TV show the hero wakes in hospital after having been shot chasing criminals. The hospital is empty and trashed. Surely that would start alarm bells ringing? First job would be to find clothes and something to fight with. No, not this guy. He stumbles around the building in the ubiquitous backless hospital gown. At least when he spies the zombies he won’t crap in his trousers.
I have a plan. I know exactly what I would do when the zombie/alien/whatever invasion happens. I’m not going to tell you what it is as that might lessen my chances of survival. And survive I will!
Hide from the zombies, don’t trust the alien leader who tells you he has come in peace, and let the vampire bite you. Yes, you read that right. Let the vampire bite you. I reckon it could be fun as a vampire. Turning into a bat at will and flying away, seducing innocent maidens, sleeping through the day, burning up in sunlight… ok some of it, probably, isn’t going to be fun but I have never been much of a sun worshipper.
Obviously, I can’t post any pictures of me this time as vampires cast no shadows or images. Now if anyone knows where I can find any innocent maidens…? I bet it was a lot easier in Draculas time.