Hospital food and a police raid...

Hospital food. The mere thought of it strikes terror into my alimentary canal. Having spent a couple of weeks in hospital recently I can attest that hospital food is not exactly cordon bleu. Breakfast was a choice of soggy cereal or soggy toast and a cuppa. Lunch, a prepacked sandwich or a bowl of soup. But the finest cuisine was saved for dinner. Several times I had a plate with some brown stuff, green stuff and, a sort of, cream-coloured stuff. Yum!  I wondered if it was deliberate in an attempt to, either, kill patients off or get them to go home as soon as their taste buds start working again. I was not surprised that the guy in the bed next to mine was constantly stuffing his face with bag after bag of crisps. Indeed, I did cheat one day and send a friend down to Subway to get me a wrap with lots of chicken and salad in. I didn't think it would be appropriate to have a steak  & cheese while recovering from heart surgery.

I'm not sure about STD chicken...

I since heard that the government have drafted in Prue Leith to help sort out hospital food. Didn't they draft in Heston Blumenthal a few years ago, how did that work out? Obviously not well otherwise we would have decent hospital food. I don't understand why the government doesn't employ those with skill and experience in feeding lots of people. The Army Catering Corps. Surely those who can feed thousands on a battlefield a hot, filling meal can sort out this problem. 

Along with filling yourself up, there is the issue of getting yourself empty. Now, nurses seem obsessed with bowel opening. Every time they came round with the medication they asked everyone if they had opened their bowels. I was determined not to use a bedpan. Not dignified.  I would lie and say yes each time. Unfortunately, they are wise to this and kept giving me laxatives anyway. In the end, you have no choice. The pressure built up so high that I had no choice. I could've easily hosed down the whole ward. Not fun. I am sure that the nurses get used to it, but I was feeling a little sorry for myself at that point, especially when I was still going ½  an hour later...

As for the police raid, well, we were all by the window watching as several police vehicles came screaming into the hospital grounds and slid to a halt outside the Eye Unit. Coppers jumped out and ran inside. We watched for ages but saw no one come out. Disappointing. We would see the Air Ambulance landing but that wasn't excitement, for that to be landing here meant someone was having a really bad day. 

There's not a lot funny happening in hospitals. They've even changed the nurses' outfits to be more practical so I can't make any sexist comments about those. Although I still flirted shamelessly with them when I could. One poor nurse, a bloke, had the unenviable task of checking my backside for pressure sores. You've got to feel sorry for him! You can imagine them drawing straws for that job. 

Now I am home, I have been sat around at home for weeks, slowly building up my strength by walking every day and working my way through Netflix. No one can understand my burning desire to get back to work, although I think that my boss and my team will be glad to see me. 

I still have to attend the Heart Failure clinic, can't they give it a better name?? and cardiac rehab. The insurance company has paid out for our Canada trip that had to be cancelled, so we can go and rebook that for next year. Things are starting to look brighter. Apart from the fact that I have nearly finished Netflix...

Regards

Giant68 :-)