There was this moment, which I should regret but I don’t, where I was particularly cruel to an old bloke. I am not proud of this, no, hang on! I am proud of it as it was damned funny. There was a gentleman on the boat who bore a remarkable resemblance to the late actor James Mason. He had a blond wife who had a mobile phone that always seemed to ring when we were looking at monuments, and during those deep, quiet moments when you are trying to drink in the surroundings, dozy bint! But back to her hubby.
There was a pool on the boat. Not a big one, more a dipping pool than a swimming pool. During the heat of the day it was a pleasant place to sit and cool down. In fact, I got to know a new friend around this very pool. The boiled horse would sit by it trying to look sophisticated. Anyway… ‘get on with it!’ I hear you cry. This blog must be a bit like those stories that Ronnie Corbett used to do in that big arm chair, it just goes on forever with no rhyme or reason.
Anyway, this gentleman asked me one day how deep it was. I indicated a point on my chest at about nipple level, saying ‘It’s about this deep’. And he promptly jumped in. Now bear in mind that I am 6’8” and he was 5’ bugger all. I hope you can see what is coming here. He just vanished under the surface and reappeared some moments later coughing up the lungful of water he had inhaled. I don’t know who had more problems breathing at this point, him with a lungful of water or us who were laughing so hard I thought I might never breath again!
Cruel bastard? Me? Well if the cap fits…
There were some other moments which I may divulge at some other time.