Saturday, 16 April 2011

Let’s take the kids!

Following on from the last blog I would like to ask a question of parents everywhere. What makes you think that you should take your young children somewhere where they will be bored to tears? Literally.



We walked round various parts of Dorset and some of these places were calm, peaceful, and places where I could relax and be at one with nature. But there were some places where parents had thought: “Darling? Lets take little Johnny ( or whatever implausible name they had decided upon 4 years ago after a sniff of the Chardonnay) and go to the Museum of Boring Life. He will love it”

Kids want two things. They want to be fed sweets and they want to be entertained. If they can’t get at least one of these then they are going to be trouble.


We sat in a Tea Shoppe ( yes, I know that Shoppe is terribly twee but tough, it fits!) and we tried to have a quiet cream tea, well Mrs Giant68 was, anyway, i was trying not to think about the pint that I could have had in the pub over the road. Anyway, there were a couple of families in the Tea Shoppe garden waiting for their pots of tea and the scones. They had their children with them. They were neither entertained or being fed sweets. They were a pain in the posterior!


For God’s sake! take them to McDonalds and feed them E numbers in a bun and wash it all down with a paper cup the same size as them full of liquid sugar. Let them play in the ball pit or just smear their ketchup covered hands on the tables and chairs. They will be happy, they will laugh. But take them to a stately home to see the artwork or the Capability Brown inspired gardens and they will be bored out of their tiny minds. Why do you do it? Surely you can’t be doing it for the kids? You must realise that they don’t want to go? Or are you trying my patience? Waiting to see how long it will be before I snap and beat you to death with their pushchair?

At least once they reach puberty they will just sulk. At least they will be quiet. But any child below the age of consent really should be left at home if you are not going to take them to the beach, swimming pool, cinema, etc.

Yes, I am a parent. And a grandparent.



Giant68 x

1 comment:

  1. That's why I don't have kids - I can go where I like without making everyone else's life a misery. If you need someone to hold your jacket while you wield the me...I'll be happy to help.